Dear Friend Without Kids

Dear friend,

        I wanted to share with you some things that I wish my friends with littles would have shared with me before I had kids. Before I had kids, I thought that my friends with kids didn’t need me anymore. They had their own family now and I would just be a burden. Or that our lifestyles were so completely different now that there was no way we could any longer be friends. But I was so very wrong and I wish someone would have told me. So, here I am telling you why your friends with kids need you more than ever.

      Becoming a new mother is a wild adventure. It has so many beautiful and rewarding parts. But it also can have the lowest lows. Dear Friend, we need you in all of those moments. We need you to rejoice with us and to weep with us. We need you to ask us how we are doing, send us encouraging words, and be a shoulder to lean on.

     Seasons of life are constantly changing. And with those seasons come changes in friendships. Dear Friend, our friendship may look very different now than the day we first met. But that’s ok. It doesn’t make our friendship any less special or meaningful. In fact, it makes our friendship stronger and more dynamic as it weathers the changes of life.

      We are clumsily learning how to play this new role called “mother”. Dear Friend, please be patient with us and give us grace when we forget to respond to a text, have to cancel plans, or seemingly neglect our friendship. Between being a wife, a mother, and keeping our homes somewhat clean we often don’t even have time for ourselves. Our lives are now dictated by nap schedules, sick babies, and sleepless nights. Please be patient with us.

        Our lives look very different right now. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. In fact, we both have valuable insights to offer each other. Whether or not we have children should never be a dividing line. In fact, it should unify us. In your season of not having children, support those around you that do. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Become that village.

       Most of all, we want you to know that we are incredibly tired. And in the midst of that tiredness we need life-giving friendships like yours the most. We may not be able to have a night out any more but there’s always movies and hot chocolate once our kids are asleep! Dear friend, please be flexible and meet us where we are.

Your are more valuable to us than you will ever know, Dear Friend.


Your Friends with Kids
Audrey kellner

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